Confidence counselling forms a large part of the work in my Dublin psychotherapy clinic, and my online therapy work. A lack of confidence or having a harsh inner critic affects almost everyone at some stage in their lives. Those with great talent or achievements to their name don’t escape low self esteem as confidence can have little relation to what others perceive about us or our ability. Vincent Van Gogh was crippled with confidence issues despite his abundant talents, and no matter what it is that leads to people seeking help from a therapist the issue of low confidence and self esteem always comes up. Like many other problems I work with people to solve, a lack of confidence or low self esteem may be very common, but the causes are unique and individual to every single person.
Low Confidence
Being short of self confidence can be devastating, and it has an impact on every aspect of life. Going for a promotion at work? Asking that person out on a date? Saying no to someone? All are made much more difficult if we are feeling low on confidence. So many of us feel that we are not good enough, not able to, cannot do all the things that we desire, when the reality is that if we could turn down the volume on that inner critic and believe in ourselves we are all so capable of much more than we realise.
Harsh Inner Critic
The tone and nature of this inner critic is different for everyone. In the first half of the twentieth-century Sigmund Freud uncovered much of what we today take for granted about our inner mental life, and he put forward the hypothesis that there is much laid down in our earliest experiences that can have lasting effects into our adult life. Many of these experiences are forgotten, or we don’t realise that we are carrying some of the effects with us in our daily lives. We find ourselves completely unaware and unconscious of what it is that is driving our low self esteem, and just where that inner critic stems from.
Psychotherapy and low self esteem
The way to untangle this complex story is through speaking. It is your unique personal history that has brought you to the point you find yourself at in your life today, and there is often much that we blindly accept about ourselves that doesn’t have to be true. I often hear ‘it’s just my personality’, or ‘I’m a pessimist so there’s nothing to be done’. These ‘home truths’ that we often accept about ourselves are not unchangeable or set in stone. The work done with a therapist can fundamentally change how we think of ourselves.
Psychotherapy for confidence
Through this specific type of psychoanalytic speaking, your work will be to reposition yourself in relation to those around you, your family, friends, colleagues. Through working with a psychotherapist you can reestablish an inner confidence, born out of an acceptance of who you are. This will lead to you feeling more at ease in yourself and with the world around you.
Improving Self Confidence through Therapy
Anxiety and depression decrease when people act in ways that are congruent with their values. By getting to know yourself and coming to understand the things that have happened to you at different points in your life, you can develop a better understanding of the world from your point of view. A good counsellor or therapist will work with you to explore what is most important to you and the ways in which you can take action to live your life in balance with your values.
Therapy can help you to discover and develop different areas of your life, enabling you to feel more confident with your career, relationships and sense of self. If you would like to speak to us about online psychotherapy or would like to know more, please contact us.